Fear - Part Two

In the last blog I talked about resilience as being an antidote to fear. Fear is a normal and can be an adaptive reaction to dangerous situations. It has helped our species to survive in the dangerous world that we live in. But when fear is prolonged or unrealistic, it can be destructive.

As I said in the last blog, fear is a tool of the terrorist. He or she wants the group that they are targeting to be afraid all the time. But the skills and the attitudes of resilience can help us manage our fear.

We need to recognize the strong feelings that events like the ones that occurred in Paris a few months ago or California a few weeks ago generate. Sadness, anger and fear. All are normal reactions to what occurred.

As the people of Paris demonstrated and the people of California are now demonstrating, connecting with others and communicating with others is critical to being able to deal with the fear. Making realistic plans and continuing to carry them out is also a part of managing fear and being flexible in the way we behave and think, so that we can adapt to the situation that we are in.

Of equal importance are the skills of resilience that have to do with  creating and finding purpose and meaning in our lives. We usually find this through acting on our values and our beliefs. They usually will help us to make sense of our lives, even in the darkest times.

We need to believe in ourselves. Self-confidence is one of the best antidotes to anxietyand fear. We need to trust our thinking and believe in ourselves.

We also need to keep things in perspective. We need to look at the bigger picture. The events that are occurring are temporary. They will change, both for the good and the bad, and they will most likely not have a pervasive impact on every aspect of our lives. It will affect specific parts of our lives.                                               

And we need to avoid blaming. No, we need to hold those who are responsible accountable for their actions, but this is different than all the emotion that we load on to accountability when we begin to blame others. We need to avoid scapegoating. One individual or group is seldom solely responsible for our troubles.

Through all of it, we need to continue to take care of ourselves and to care for others, physically and emotionally. We need to continue to be social and communicate with other people. We need to continue to exercise and eat well and sleep.

Last of all, one of the hardest things that we need to do is to continue to be able to appreciate and use humor appropriately in our lives. I said “appropriately.” We should not use humor to degrade or put down others. We need to continue to laugh. Things can only get better.