In the early part of the 20th Century, it was the newspapers - the morning paper, the evening paper and extra editions - that kept us abreast of what was happening in the world. And the news was often bad, often exaggerated by the muckrakers of that period to sell more papers. By the mid-20th Century, we were getting most of our news from the radio or television. Vietnam has the distinction of being the first war that was fought in our living rooms. Listening to Walter Cronkite or Huntley and Brinkley gave us the body count for the day.
With the advent of social media and cable television, we can have the news 24/7. And with the intense competition between these different news sources, modern-day muckraking is very much in vogue. Every source seems to be doing whatever it can to increase market share. “If it bleeds, it leads” is the motto. And as the public becomes more desensitized to this type of journalism, if you can call it that, the stories and the pictures have to become even more graphic. In this race to the bottom, all seem intent upon being the new National Enquirer.
A few years ago, I had the opportunity to do some training with a group of journalists, many of whom had covered 9/11. They all agreed that much of the coverage was focused on being sensational and that seeing the planes crash into the Towers for the umpteenth time was, in general, not very helpful to the public. Research has shown it was indeed harmful. But it did its job, they agreed. It assured them a “share of the market.”
As I have discussed in this blog a number of times over the last couple of years, there are three factors that seem to encourage pessimism. The first is a belief that the events that have occurred are permanent. In other words, if things are bad, things will stay bad. The second is a belief that what has happened will have a pervasive effect on our lives. And the third is the issue of blame, finding someone, not just someone who is accountable, but someone who can be blamed with all the emotion that goes along with that process.
Unfortunately, if we watch the evening news or tune into social media, we can see all three of these factors at play in most of the coverage. Instead of pointing out that most things are temporary and that this, too, will pass, the media often seems intent upon convincing people that what has occurred will never end and that things may never change for the good. The media also seems intent upon convincing people that what has happened will have a pervasive effect upon their lives, instead of printing out that whatever the events were, they may have a specific impact, positive or negative, but that few events change everything. And, of course, media seems hell-bent upon determining who was at blame, locating that person, and making sure that they pay the consequences for their terrible behavior. This is different than holding people accountable. It is stirring up emotion and anger that has contributed to such things as the recent riots that occurred in Missouri.
So what is to be done about all of this? These factors undoubtedly undermine the resilience of each of us and of our country as a whole. I will discuss in the next blog some very concrete things that you can do to maintain your and your family’s resilience in the face of this negativity.
Dr. Ron Breazeale
Friday, December 5, 2014
Resilience in a Time of War
As I discussed a previous blog, we certainly live in uncertain times, and the world seems more chaotic than ever before. Some would argue that things are no more difficult than they’ve ever been in the world or no more uncertain. It may be that media coverage is just more intense and more in our face each day than it ever has been. I say that, in part, because I know that most people, when surveyed, assume that the crime rate in this country is worse than it has been in past years. The reality is, it isn’t. Actually, people are much safer now in large cities and in most areas of the country than they were in the seventies. The perception, however, given the media coverage that is out there is that things are worse than they were.
So what can we do in these times to maintain our own resilience and to encourage and develop the resilience of our children?
We have talked about a number of these in previous blogs. The first is to make connections with others, to keep in touch with family and friends and those who matter in our lives.
A second “tip” for maintaining our resilience is to take care of ourselves, to remain social, to not isolate, and to do the things, such as exercise, diet and rest, that maintain our bodies and our minds.
The third is to give ourselves a “news break,” meaning that we stop listening to some of the coverage, we stop reading some of the blogs, we stop talking about the news incessantly with our friends, whether we are e-mailing back and forth or texting. It’s okay to turn off the television or the radio or the telephone and allow yourself to focus on other things.
Number four, be prepared. Have a plan, an emergency plan in place that you can use in a crisis. The Federal Emergency Management Agency will give you the things that should be in a plan and also will give you the information about how to prepare an emergency kit. The emergency kit should include the basics, such as food, water, medicines, etc., but also things that give you comfort and security, such as a journal or pictures of loved ones, etc.
And last of all, keep things in perspective. “This, too, will pass.” Few events will ever have a pervasive effect upon your life and touch and affect every aspect of it. And don’t blame yourself or others. You can hold yourself accountable and others accountable for their actions or misdeeds, but don’t get caught up in the blame game. Remain an optimist, even in the face of the horrendous events that may be occurring around you. There are positive things in everyone’s life. Take time to identify and appreciate them. Keep a hopeful outlook.
The American Psychological Association has developed a number of brochures and other resources that are available free of charge from the American Psychological Association at apa.org/helpcenter.
Dr. Ron Breazeale
So what can we do in these times to maintain our own resilience and to encourage and develop the resilience of our children?
We have talked about a number of these in previous blogs. The first is to make connections with others, to keep in touch with family and friends and those who matter in our lives.
A second “tip” for maintaining our resilience is to take care of ourselves, to remain social, to not isolate, and to do the things, such as exercise, diet and rest, that maintain our bodies and our minds.
The third is to give ourselves a “news break,” meaning that we stop listening to some of the coverage, we stop reading some of the blogs, we stop talking about the news incessantly with our friends, whether we are e-mailing back and forth or texting. It’s okay to turn off the television or the radio or the telephone and allow yourself to focus on other things.
Number four, be prepared. Have a plan, an emergency plan in place that you can use in a crisis. The Federal Emergency Management Agency will give you the things that should be in a plan and also will give you the information about how to prepare an emergency kit. The emergency kit should include the basics, such as food, water, medicines, etc., but also things that give you comfort and security, such as a journal or pictures of loved ones, etc.
And last of all, keep things in perspective. “This, too, will pass.” Few events will ever have a pervasive effect upon your life and touch and affect every aspect of it. And don’t blame yourself or others. You can hold yourself accountable and others accountable for their actions or misdeeds, but don’t get caught up in the blame game. Remain an optimist, even in the face of the horrendous events that may be occurring around you. There are positive things in everyone’s life. Take time to identify and appreciate them. Keep a hopeful outlook.
The American Psychological Association has developed a number of brochures and other resources that are available free of charge from the American Psychological Association at apa.org/helpcenter.
Dr. Ron Breazeale
Bullying at Work
This is a problem that has existed in many work settings for a long time. However, it has only recently been getting some attention. It is defined as deliberate, often repeated, health-harming mistreatment of an employee by a supervisor or a co-worker or co-workers through direct and indirect means It is more than just having a bad day at the office or having a conflict with your boss or with co-workers. It often takes the form of false accusations, yelling, shouting or screaming, hostile glares or other intimidating nonverbal behaviors, unreasonably heavy work demands designed to ensure failure, or a withholding of resources and information necessary to do your job, and sometimes downright sabotage and defamation.
Women are more likely to be the targets than men, as are subordinates. The aggressors are more likely to be supervisors than peers or subordinates and are more likely to be men than women.
This behavior pattern certainly affects the individual being targeted and is harmful to the organization. A number of studies have shown that this creates lower morale and productivity and may contribute to higher absenteeism and attrition. Workers are harmed in a number of ways, including the development of stress disorders, depression and physical problems such as cardiovascular disease and gastrointestinal problems.
So what’s to be done about this? Unfortunately, there are no laws that provide adequate protection. The laws that exist have proven inadequate as legal responses to workplace bullying. A bill entitled, “The Healthy Workplace” bill, has been introduced in 25 states, but has yet to be enacted in any state.
The answer at present: primarily training and education of the workforce, development and enforcement of employee policies that protect the employee, and counseling, coaching, disciplining and even dismissal of aggressors. Employers need to be aware of the signs of bullying in their companies. Decreases in productivity, increases in attrition and absenteeism may be signs that bullying is occurring. When companies downsize and merge, bullying is more likely to occur. And, in general, if there are heightened levels of aggression of all types occurring in the company, bullying is almost certain to be occurring.
Finally, it is important to be aware of the culture of your organization. Is it an organization that encourages communication, support and acceptance of differences? Do employees and management share common goals, or is it more a situation of surface civility, but underneath a dog-eat-dog type atmosphere?
I would like to credit Dr. David C. Yamada who has written a great deal in this area. His writings include, “Workplace Bullying and Ethical Leadership,” published in the Journal of Values-Based Leadership in 2008, and most recently an article entitled, “Emerging American Legal Responses to Workplace Bullying” published in The Temple Political Rights Law Review in 2013. Dr. Yamada is a professor of law and a director of the New Workplace Institute at Suffolk University Law School in Boston.
Dr. Ron Breazeale
Women are more likely to be the targets than men, as are subordinates. The aggressors are more likely to be supervisors than peers or subordinates and are more likely to be men than women.
This behavior pattern certainly affects the individual being targeted and is harmful to the organization. A number of studies have shown that this creates lower morale and productivity and may contribute to higher absenteeism and attrition. Workers are harmed in a number of ways, including the development of stress disorders, depression and physical problems such as cardiovascular disease and gastrointestinal problems.
So what’s to be done about this? Unfortunately, there are no laws that provide adequate protection. The laws that exist have proven inadequate as legal responses to workplace bullying. A bill entitled, “The Healthy Workplace” bill, has been introduced in 25 states, but has yet to be enacted in any state.
The answer at present: primarily training and education of the workforce, development and enforcement of employee policies that protect the employee, and counseling, coaching, disciplining and even dismissal of aggressors. Employers need to be aware of the signs of bullying in their companies. Decreases in productivity, increases in attrition and absenteeism may be signs that bullying is occurring. When companies downsize and merge, bullying is more likely to occur. And, in general, if there are heightened levels of aggression of all types occurring in the company, bullying is almost certain to be occurring.
Finally, it is important to be aware of the culture of your organization. Is it an organization that encourages communication, support and acceptance of differences? Do employees and management share common goals, or is it more a situation of surface civility, but underneath a dog-eat-dog type atmosphere?
I would like to credit Dr. David C. Yamada who has written a great deal in this area. His writings include, “Workplace Bullying and Ethical Leadership,” published in the Journal of Values-Based Leadership in 2008, and most recently an article entitled, “Emerging American Legal Responses to Workplace Bullying” published in The Temple Political Rights Law Review in 2013. Dr. Yamada is a professor of law and a director of the New Workplace Institute at Suffolk University Law School in Boston.
Dr. Ron Breazeale
Ebola
Guest Blogger: Carly Rodgers, M.S.
Ebola. It’s a term we’ve all become far too familiar with, especially within the recent weeks, as this deadly virus has made its way into the United States. It’s nearly impossible to open a newspaper, listen/watch the news, let alone check your Facebook or Twitter, without at least one mention of the term. The media has created mass fear and panic that has been fueled by misinformation.
Ebola, also referred to as Ebola hemorrhagic fever, is a rare and deadly disease caused by infection with one of the Ebola virus strains. The signs and symptoms of Ebola include: fever, severe headache, muscle pain, weakness, diarrhea, vomiting, abdominal (stomach) pain, and unexpected hemorrhage (bleeding or bruising). These symptoms may appear anywhere from 2 to 21 days after exposure to Ebola, with the average at around 8 to 10 days.
According to the Centers for Diseases Control and Prevention (CDC) (2014), the total number of cases is just under 9,000 (with 5006 laboratory-confirmed cases) and the total number of deaths is 4493, with the majority of these being isolated to West Africa. The truth it Ebola is scary, however, being (properly) informed about what Ebola is and how it is spread is crucial. Ebola is not spread through the air, water, or in general, by food. Rather, Ebola is spread through: direct contact with blood or bodily fluids (e.g., urine, saliva, sweat, feces, vomit, breast milk, and semen) or a person who is sick with Ebola; infected animals; and objects (needles and syringes) that have been contaminated with the virus. The likelihood of Ebola becoming a widespread epidemic is very unlikely, based on the way the virus is spread.
Ebola can kill you, but so can a number of other things. It is more likely an individual will die from heart disease, cancer, traffic accidents, guns, the flu, ISIS, and even your own furniture (yes, tripping over furniture is more likely to kill you). Being afraid and worrying excessively over Ebola can be detrimental to your health. Worry is biologically identified as stress, one that the body interprets as a mini fight-or-flight response. Stress that lasts for more than several days becomes damaging to our health. Chronic stress has been shown to raise blood pressure and increase the risk of cardiovascular problems and also suppresses the immune system (making it more likely to catch infectious diseases or get sicker). Mood is also heavily impacted by (chronic) stress, and is strongly associated with clinical depression. The old adage still holds true, knowledge is power, and in this case knowledge also means a sense of relief and comfort. Be sensible. Being alert is fine (and normal), but within reason. Learning the basics and protecting your own health can help protect yourself from fear and undue stress.
Carly Rodgers received her Master's in Clinical Psychology in 2009 and is currently completing her pre-doctoral training in Portland, Maine. She endorses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) principles and teaches resiliency skills with Dr. Breazeale.
Ebola. It’s a term we’ve all become far too familiar with, especially within the recent weeks, as this deadly virus has made its way into the United States. It’s nearly impossible to open a newspaper, listen/watch the news, let alone check your Facebook or Twitter, without at least one mention of the term. The media has created mass fear and panic that has been fueled by misinformation.
Ebola, also referred to as Ebola hemorrhagic fever, is a rare and deadly disease caused by infection with one of the Ebola virus strains. The signs and symptoms of Ebola include: fever, severe headache, muscle pain, weakness, diarrhea, vomiting, abdominal (stomach) pain, and unexpected hemorrhage (bleeding or bruising). These symptoms may appear anywhere from 2 to 21 days after exposure to Ebola, with the average at around 8 to 10 days.
According to the Centers for Diseases Control and Prevention (CDC) (2014), the total number of cases is just under 9,000 (with 5006 laboratory-confirmed cases) and the total number of deaths is 4493, with the majority of these being isolated to West Africa. The truth it Ebola is scary, however, being (properly) informed about what Ebola is and how it is spread is crucial. Ebola is not spread through the air, water, or in general, by food. Rather, Ebola is spread through: direct contact with blood or bodily fluids (e.g., urine, saliva, sweat, feces, vomit, breast milk, and semen) or a person who is sick with Ebola; infected animals; and objects (needles and syringes) that have been contaminated with the virus. The likelihood of Ebola becoming a widespread epidemic is very unlikely, based on the way the virus is spread.
Ebola can kill you, but so can a number of other things. It is more likely an individual will die from heart disease, cancer, traffic accidents, guns, the flu, ISIS, and even your own furniture (yes, tripping over furniture is more likely to kill you). Being afraid and worrying excessively over Ebola can be detrimental to your health. Worry is biologically identified as stress, one that the body interprets as a mini fight-or-flight response. Stress that lasts for more than several days becomes damaging to our health. Chronic stress has been shown to raise blood pressure and increase the risk of cardiovascular problems and also suppresses the immune system (making it more likely to catch infectious diseases or get sicker). Mood is also heavily impacted by (chronic) stress, and is strongly associated with clinical depression. The old adage still holds true, knowledge is power, and in this case knowledge also means a sense of relief and comfort. Be sensible. Being alert is fine (and normal), but within reason. Learning the basics and protecting your own health can help protect yourself from fear and undue stress.
Carly Rodgers received her Master's in Clinical Psychology in 2009 and is currently completing her pre-doctoral training in Portland, Maine. She endorses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) principles and teaches resiliency skills with Dr. Breazeale.
When Hope is Lost
The dictionary defines ‘hope’ as a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. The somewhat more archaic definition describes ‘hope’ as a feeling of trust. Shakespeare put it well: “Eating the air on promise of supply.” But what happens when our hopes are dashed? We may lose the feeling of trust in ourselves or in others. Do we become cynics and pessimists? Do we begin to believe that all is lost? That what is now will last forever and not change for the better? Do we begin to blame ourselves? What keeps us from becoming the cynic that H.L. Mencken described: “A man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.”
The conflict between hope and cynicism is a very old one, and it is one that we must encounter each day. It has to do with how we deal with disappointments and uncertainties. Not going down the road to cynicism and becoming a pessimist has much to do with our ability to apply the skills and the attitudes of resilience. Hope and optimism are first cousins as are cynicism and pessimism.
How these two play out in our lives and the lives of those around us is a fascinating process and deserves our attention. Over the last couple of years, I spent some time looking at this process in my own life, both reflecting on it and writing about it. The product of that effort is a novel about the conflict between the two, First Night, which is available from the publisher, Reed Edwards Company at: www.reededwards.com.
Dr. Ron Breazeale
The conflict between hope and cynicism is a very old one, and it is one that we must encounter each day. It has to do with how we deal with disappointments and uncertainties. Not going down the road to cynicism and becoming a pessimist has much to do with our ability to apply the skills and the attitudes of resilience. Hope and optimism are first cousins as are cynicism and pessimism.
How these two play out in our lives and the lives of those around us is a fascinating process and deserves our attention. Over the last couple of years, I spent some time looking at this process in my own life, both reflecting on it and writing about it. The product of that effort is a novel about the conflict between the two, First Night, which is available from the publisher, Reed Edwards Company at: www.reededwards.com.
Dr. Ron Breazeale
Bullying at Work
Bullying is a problem that has existed in many work settings for a long time. However, it has only recently been getting some attention. Bullying is defined as deliberate, often repeated, health-harming mistreatment of an employee by a supervisor or a co-worker or co-workers through direct and indirect means. It is more than just having a bad day at the office or having a conflict with your boss or with co-workers. It often takes the form of false accusations, yelling, shouting or screaming, hostile glares or other intimidating nonverbal behaviors, unreasonably heavy work demands designed to ensure failure, or a withholding of resources and information necessary to do your job, and sometimes downright sabotage and defamation.
Women are more likely to be the targets than men, as are subordinates. The aggressors are more likely to be supervisors than peers or subordinates and are more likely to be men than women.
This behavior pattern certainly affects the individual being targeted and is harmful to the organization. A number of studies have shown that this creates lower morale and productivity and may contribute to higher absenteeism and attrition. Workers are harmed in a number of ways, including the development of stress disorders, depression and physical problems such as cardiovascular disease and gastrointestinal problems.
So what’s to be done about this? Unfortunately, there are no laws that provide adequate protection. The laws that exist have proven inadequate as legal responses to workplace bullying. A bill entitled, “The Healthy Workplace” bill, has been introduced in 25 states, but has yet to be enacted in any state.
The answer at present: primarily training and education of the workforce, development and enforcement of employee policies that protect the employee, and counseling, coaching, disciplining and even dismissal of aggressors. Employers need to be aware of the signs of bullying in their companies. Decreases in productivity, increases in attrition and absenteeism may be signs that bullying is occurring. When companies downsize and merge, bullying is more likely to occur. And, in general, if there are heightened levels of aggression of all types occurring in the company, bullying is almost certain to be occurring.
Finally, it is important to be aware of the culture of your organization. Is it an organization that encourages communication, support and acceptance of differences? Do employees and management share common goals, or is it more a situation of surface civility, but underneath a dog-eat-dog type atmosphere?
I would like to credit Dr. David C. Yamada who has written a great deal in this area. His writings include, “Workplace Bullying and Ethical Leadership,” published in the Journal of Values-Based Leadership in 2008, and most recently an article entitled, “Emerging American Legal Responses to Workplace Bullying” published in The Temple Political Rights Law Review in 2013. Dr. Yamada is a professor of law and a director of the New Workplace Institute at Suffolk University Law School in Boston.
Women are more likely to be the targets than men, as are subordinates. The aggressors are more likely to be supervisors than peers or subordinates and are more likely to be men than women.
This behavior pattern certainly affects the individual being targeted and is harmful to the organization. A number of studies have shown that this creates lower morale and productivity and may contribute to higher absenteeism and attrition. Workers are harmed in a number of ways, including the development of stress disorders, depression and physical problems such as cardiovascular disease and gastrointestinal problems.
So what’s to be done about this? Unfortunately, there are no laws that provide adequate protection. The laws that exist have proven inadequate as legal responses to workplace bullying. A bill entitled, “The Healthy Workplace” bill, has been introduced in 25 states, but has yet to be enacted in any state.
The answer at present: primarily training and education of the workforce, development and enforcement of employee policies that protect the employee, and counseling, coaching, disciplining and even dismissal of aggressors. Employers need to be aware of the signs of bullying in their companies. Decreases in productivity, increases in attrition and absenteeism may be signs that bullying is occurring. When companies downsize and merge, bullying is more likely to occur. And, in general, if there are heightened levels of aggression of all types occurring in the company, bullying is almost certain to be occurring.
Finally, it is important to be aware of the culture of your organization. Is it an organization that encourages communication, support and acceptance of differences? Do employees and management share common goals, or is it more a situation of surface civility, but underneath a dog-eat-dog type atmosphere?
I would like to credit Dr. David C. Yamada who has written a great deal in this area. His writings include, “Workplace Bullying and Ethical Leadership,” published in the Journal of Values-Based Leadership in 2008, and most recently an article entitled, “Emerging American Legal Responses to Workplace Bullying” published in The Temple Political Rights Law Review in 2013. Dr. Yamada is a professor of law and a director of the New Workplace Institute at Suffolk University Law School in Boston.
The Millenial Generation
Guest blog by Megan Coale
Today’s new generation of the corporate workforce, called “Millennials” by some, desire more than just monetary compensation out of their jobs. The fifth annual Millennial Impact Report (released by the Case Foundation in partnership with a market-research agency called Achieve) reported that millennial workers desire “fulfillment” from their jobs, defined by them as creating friendships and having a positive impact on the world. With all of the time spent at work these days and all of the added technology that now can ease communication between coworkers a new ‘work-life’ blend has developed. This has led coworkers to develop close friendships and bonds that surpass those of the pre-Millennial workplace.
As an individual who falls into the "Millennial" category (born post-1979), I can say that I was not surprised by the findings of the survey. I have seen this behavior and preference in both coworkers and college classmates who are on the cusp of entering into the workforce. Today’s young people enjoy feeling connected and invested in what they are doing. In the workplace these feelings can create higher motivation and morale.
These new developments in the workplace should be given attention by those involved in the Industrial and Orgamizational (I/O) Psychology field. The key to keeping the younger generation of employees content and efficient is to make them feel fulfilled. It would be beneficial for corporations to define their mission—or cause—as more than just generating a profit. If a corporation does not fully support a “cause” yet then it would be beneficial to organize a company-wide way to support one. For example, Wright Express of South Portland, Maine is serving as a sponsor for the Maine Cancer Foundation’s Tri for a Cure from 2013-2015. While having a positive impact on the world this act can simultaneously give employees a positive feeling about their company and what they are doing. Another way that corporations can use this survey’s information is in their recruiting and hiring processes. Millennials are searching for positive and strong relationships with their coworkers. It would be helpful for recruiters to take this into account and see how prospective hires interact socially within their potential departments.
These findings, if acted upon, can serve to make the workplace a more positive environment that is both more productive, efficient, and helps make our world a better place.
Megan Coale is a senior at Union College in Schenectady, NY. In June 2015 she will be graduating with a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology and English. Megan hopes to continue her studies in Psychology, with a focus on I/O Psychology.
The Psychologically Unhealthy Workplace
We have talked about in previous blog posts work being a place where many people face adversity. The list includes long hours, low wages, unsafe working conditions and, in general, work-life imbalance.
The recession can be blamed for some of this. It seems to have pushed companies and organizations to try to squeeze as many hours and as much work out of each employee as humanly possible. This also results in companies hiring a large number of their workers on a part-time basis with no benefits of any kind. Most of us can name a number of companies and organizations we would not want to work for. But can we name those we would like to work for? Those that are psychologically healthy workplaces.
The American Psychological Association, along with state psychological associations across the country, has developed a program to recognize those organizations and companies that do well by their employees and their communities. The program is called the Psychological Healthy Workplace Awards Program. Applicants for the award are evaluated on their efforts in five areas: employee involvement, work-life balance, employee growth and development, health and safety and employee recognition.
Each year, state psychological associations, such as the Maine Psychological Association, look for both for-profit and not-for-profit organizations; small, medium-sized or large, they would encourage to apply for the award. Participants fill out an application, a sample of employees complete a survey, and a site visit is completed. The whole process takes a few months: application, employee survey, which is confidential, a brief site visit and report back to the organization.
Winners of the award are recognized by the state psychological associations through press releases and an awards ceremony, and may be nominated by the state association to enter the competition at the national level. Each year since early 1999, the American Psychological Association has recognized (these companies or organizations) through a dinner and awards ceremony.
If you know a business or organization that you would like to see apply for this award, ask them to contact their state psychological association or the national Psychologically Healthy Workplace Awards Program at: www.phwa.org. The awards are open to all organizations, and there is no fee for applying.
I think it’s important in these times to remember that a number of organizations and companies are doing the right thing by their employees. These organizations need to be recognized and supported.
Dr. Ron Breazeale
The recession can be blamed for some of this. It seems to have pushed companies and organizations to try to squeeze as many hours and as much work out of each employee as humanly possible. This also results in companies hiring a large number of their workers on a part-time basis with no benefits of any kind. Most of us can name a number of companies and organizations we would not want to work for. But can we name those we would like to work for? Those that are psychologically healthy workplaces.
The American Psychological Association, along with state psychological associations across the country, has developed a program to recognize those organizations and companies that do well by their employees and their communities. The program is called the Psychological Healthy Workplace Awards Program. Applicants for the award are evaluated on their efforts in five areas: employee involvement, work-life balance, employee growth and development, health and safety and employee recognition.
Each year, state psychological associations, such as the Maine Psychological Association, look for both for-profit and not-for-profit organizations; small, medium-sized or large, they would encourage to apply for the award. Participants fill out an application, a sample of employees complete a survey, and a site visit is completed. The whole process takes a few months: application, employee survey, which is confidential, a brief site visit and report back to the organization.
Winners of the award are recognized by the state psychological associations through press releases and an awards ceremony, and may be nominated by the state association to enter the competition at the national level. Each year since early 1999, the American Psychological Association has recognized (these companies or organizations) through a dinner and awards ceremony.
If you know a business or organization that you would like to see apply for this award, ask them to contact their state psychological association or the national Psychologically Healthy Workplace Awards Program at: www.phwa.org. The awards are open to all organizations, and there is no fee for applying.
I think it’s important in these times to remember that a number of organizations and companies are doing the right thing by their employees. These organizations need to be recognized and supported.
Dr. Ron Breazeale
Getting Older
No, I didn’t say getting old. No, this post is not about old age. I’m not sure that thinking about entering old age is very helpful. The stereotype that we have created in this society around old age is a very negative one. In many cases we do learn from our mistakes. We do become wiser, hopefully, with age. Granted, this is not true for all of us but I think it is for most.
We don’t all become drooling and doddering fools as we get older.
But there is a negative side. Getting older usually means that some things that worked better when we were younger don’t work as well. For example, my eyes. My optometrist tells me that cataracts are growing and at some point I’m going to have to have surgery. He gives me some hope, however, that if I have cataract surgery, my vision will be restored and improved in a number of ways. And my ears don’t work as well as they used to. I don’t need hearing aids, I don’t think. At least, not yet. But I’m sure I may.
But perhaps the biggest potential negative for me is the recognition that I am mortal. I, like everyone else on this planet, will die at some point. How many more years do I have? Ten? Fifteen? Twenty? Thirty? It could all end tomorrow. I said "potential negative" because I think it’s how we answer that question about what will we do when we realize our mortality, how we use whatever time is still ahead of us. What purpose will we create for ourselves?
This raises another major issue for me and I think for most people as they get into their late 50s and early 60s. It is the issue of retirement. Do we or don’t we, and if we choose to, how will we be able to? I’ll talk more about the issue of retirement in the next blog, since it certainly deserves more space and time than I have in this one.
The Resiliency of Caregiving
(Guest blogger: Dr. Talya Steinberg)
In my previous posting, I discussed the topic of resilience among individuals with intellectual disabilities, bringing to light the adversities these individuals face on a daily basis. Along with these individuals, those caring for them, parents and family, caregivers, etc., also face stress associated with an individuals’ diagnosis of an intellectual disability.
A diagnosis of an intellectual disability among a family member places demands on the rest of the family. An individuals’ response to their diagnosis influences how each individual within the family as well as the family as a whole, function, and vice versa. The family's response impacts the affected individual as well. Family members and caregivers are vulnerable to burnout, which may be evidenced through symptoms associated with irritability, depression and fatigue. Due to this vulnerability, resilience among parents, family members, and caregivers is crucial.
Maintaining balance is essential. Supportive relationships outside the family help serve as protective factors that help contribute to the maintenance of resilience. While the individual living with an intellectual disability needs support from family and caregivers, and may require additional services as a means of support, the family as a whole also needs support. Parents and caregivers need to learn as much as they can; the more you know, the better you can help your child and yourself. The family may need information, additional resources, and encouragement to prevent the diagnosis of an intellectual disability from becoming the center of their lives.
Parents, caregivers, and other members of the family need to be patient, while also remaining hopeful. It is important to remember to ask for help when it is needed. Talk to other parents of children with an intellectual disability. Most importantly take time for YOU. It is crucial to nurture yourself and take the extra effort to make time for other relationships in order to build upon and maintain resilience.
Dr. Talya Steinberg received her doctorate in Clinical Psychology in 2011 and is completing her postdoctoral training in Portland, Maine. She endorses positive psychology principles and teaches resiliency skills with Dr. Breazeale.
In my previous posting, I discussed the topic of resilience among individuals with intellectual disabilities, bringing to light the adversities these individuals face on a daily basis. Along with these individuals, those caring for them, parents and family, caregivers, etc., also face stress associated with an individuals’ diagnosis of an intellectual disability.
A diagnosis of an intellectual disability among a family member places demands on the rest of the family. An individuals’ response to their diagnosis influences how each individual within the family as well as the family as a whole, function, and vice versa. The family's response impacts the affected individual as well. Family members and caregivers are vulnerable to burnout, which may be evidenced through symptoms associated with irritability, depression and fatigue. Due to this vulnerability, resilience among parents, family members, and caregivers is crucial.
Maintaining balance is essential. Supportive relationships outside the family help serve as protective factors that help contribute to the maintenance of resilience. While the individual living with an intellectual disability needs support from family and caregivers, and may require additional services as a means of support, the family as a whole also needs support. Parents and caregivers need to learn as much as they can; the more you know, the better you can help your child and yourself. The family may need information, additional resources, and encouragement to prevent the diagnosis of an intellectual disability from becoming the center of their lives.
Parents, caregivers, and other members of the family need to be patient, while also remaining hopeful. It is important to remember to ask for help when it is needed. Talk to other parents of children with an intellectual disability. Most importantly take time for YOU. It is crucial to nurture yourself and take the extra effort to make time for other relationships in order to build upon and maintain resilience.
Dr. Talya Steinberg received her doctorate in Clinical Psychology in 2011 and is completing her postdoctoral training in Portland, Maine. She endorses positive psychology principles and teaches resiliency skills with Dr. Breazeale.
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Retirement: Resilience is key to successful retirement
Here’s a topic that if you want to scare the hell out of most people, especially men (myself included), bring the topic up. Most people would say that they want to retire, but most don’t understand how to or doubt they will ever be able to. To or not to retire may be the question. And, if so, when and how? For most people there is a question of how to finance retirement. If finances aren’t an issue, then the biggest question quite often, especially for men in our society, is what will I do with my time? Will you start a second career? Find a new job? Volunteer? For most of us, fishing and playing golf will not be enough.
To have a successful retirement, we need to find a sense of purpose. It is not about just keeping busy. Or staying out of our partner’s way.
Moving into retirement for myself has meant cutting back some of my clinical work and doing some things that I’ve wanted to do, such as write. I found some success with this. A second novel, First Night, which is a continuation of a story that I began in my first, Reaching Home, has just been released. For most of my life, clinical work as a psychologist has provided a great dealing of meaning to me, and still does, as does the role of father and husband. But writing has added another sense of purpose to my life. Reaching Home was about finding a place we feel at home. Not a physical place, but a place within our lives. First Night is about the conflict between hope and cynicism which is an issue most of us must confront.
So as we get older and as we retire from certain areas of our life, we continue to need to find a balance. We need to focus and live for today and for the future and remember the lessons that we have learned from the past. We also need to keep a sense of humor, take care of ourselves and others, and create purpose and meaning in the things that we do. If we continue to do this, retirement may be a wonderful experience, and getting older may be much better than we thought it would be
To have a successful retirement, we need to find a sense of purpose. It is not about just keeping busy. Or staying out of our partner’s way.
Moving into retirement for myself has meant cutting back some of my clinical work and doing some things that I’ve wanted to do, such as write. I found some success with this. A second novel, First Night, which is a continuation of a story that I began in my first, Reaching Home, has just been released. For most of my life, clinical work as a psychologist has provided a great dealing of meaning to me, and still does, as does the role of father and husband. But writing has added another sense of purpose to my life. Reaching Home was about finding a place we feel at home. Not a physical place, but a place within our lives. First Night is about the conflict between hope and cynicism which is an issue most of us must confront.
So as we get older and as we retire from certain areas of our life, we continue to need to find a balance. We need to focus and live for today and for the future and remember the lessons that we have learned from the past. We also need to keep a sense of humor, take care of ourselves and others, and create purpose and meaning in the things that we do. If we continue to do this, retirement may be a wonderful experience, and getting older may be much better than we thought it would be
The Adoption Story Part 4: Meeting your biological family
Like our first day in Peru 24 years ago, we were tired and jet lagged but we were up and out of the hotel after just a few hours of sleep. Instead of meeting our daughter for the first time, she was going to meet her biological family. We had met her biological mother and grandmother on our first visit. Her grandmother had passed away a few years ago. But our daughter had never met her biological mother or her older sisters.
Our friends had arranged the meeting at a small club they belonged to. It was a simple place. Nothing fancy. We would talk and have lunch. When we arrived, her mother and family were waiting for us. The mother had brought along ten other family members to see the baby who had been adopted by the Americans.
The visit went well and I believe helped our daughter flesh out and, as she would say, put more closure on this part of her life. It was a bit overwhelming for all of us. I won’t say more about this since I would like to respect the privacy of all concerned.
For the remainder of the week, we did what tourists do. We ate. The food was great. Went shopping, much more expensive than 24 years ago, and we saw the sights: the churches, presidential palace, the museums and the Pacific.
What amazed me more than anything, now as it did 24 years ago, was the connection with the Peruvian family that we had made and maintained over all these years. It certainly wasn’t through language, since I know only a small bit of Spanish and his English isn’t always that good. It was a way of knowing each other without words. I recalled how this connection with my friend had helped me keep going years ago when some days were really difficult.
Peru has changed in the years since our first visit. But the majority of the population still lives in poverty and remains illiterate. Their average wage, I was told, is $700 a month. But the kindness and the spirit of the people remain strong. Many, including my friends, are optimistic about the future.
Hopefully, we will all return to Peru someday. Our friend and his family say they will visit us in Maine. I hope so. But whether they do or they do not or whether we ever return to Peru, I will remember my good friend and his family and always feel grateful to them for the love and the care they showed my family.
Our friends had arranged the meeting at a small club they belonged to. It was a simple place. Nothing fancy. We would talk and have lunch. When we arrived, her mother and family were waiting for us. The mother had brought along ten other family members to see the baby who had been adopted by the Americans.
The visit went well and I believe helped our daughter flesh out and, as she would say, put more closure on this part of her life. It was a bit overwhelming for all of us. I won’t say more about this since I would like to respect the privacy of all concerned.
For the remainder of the week, we did what tourists do. We ate. The food was great. Went shopping, much more expensive than 24 years ago, and we saw the sights: the churches, presidential palace, the museums and the Pacific.
What amazed me more than anything, now as it did 24 years ago, was the connection with the Peruvian family that we had made and maintained over all these years. It certainly wasn’t through language, since I know only a small bit of Spanish and his English isn’t always that good. It was a way of knowing each other without words. I recalled how this connection with my friend had helped me keep going years ago when some days were really difficult.
Peru has changed in the years since our first visit. But the majority of the population still lives in poverty and remains illiterate. Their average wage, I was told, is $700 a month. But the kindness and the spirit of the people remain strong. Many, including my friends, are optimistic about the future.
Hopefully, we will all return to Peru someday. Our friend and his family say they will visit us in Maine. I hope so. But whether they do or they do not or whether we ever return to Peru, I will remember my good friend and his family and always feel grateful to them for the love and the care they showed my family.
The Changing Seasons: Preparing for Mother Nature's Fury
After this winter, most of us are very happy to see spring. The days are much longer now. In general, there’s a lot more light and lot less dark. It’s warming up slowly in some parts of the country, but it is getting warmer. The snow and the ice have melted. In many places it’s gone.
But, unfortunately, spring brings some adversity of its own. Flooding comes to mind immediately for many people in many areas of this country. In Maine this has to do with ice jams on rivers as the spring comes and the warmer temperatures produce snowmelt. And for us in Maine, mud comes to mind. No, it is not as catastrophic as the mudslides on the West Coast, but it certainly can be annoying. And then, of course, there are the storms that come with the spring. Heavy rains, thunderstorms, lightning and tornadoes. You can do some preparation for these potential disasters such as creating a ReadyKit for you and your family, which includes enough food for a few days, drinking water, flashlights and batteries, a hand-crank radio and other items which the FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) would be happy to list for you. Go to their website or your state EMA. But other than that, there’s not much you can do about the weather, except control your reaction to it.
So enjoy the things around you, such as the flowers pushing their way (for some of us) through the remaining snow and ice. The longer days. The warmth of the spring sun. And the realization that summer is just around the corner. And for those of us in Maine, summer is a wonderful season. We have the occasional lightning storm and tornado, but in general it is a wonderful time to kick back and enjoy being alive. So enjoy the spring and look forward to the summer and congratulate yourself, even if you enjoy winter sports such as skiing and snow-shoeing, for having made it through a long, cold and icy winter.
But, unfortunately, spring brings some adversity of its own. Flooding comes to mind immediately for many people in many areas of this country. In Maine this has to do with ice jams on rivers as the spring comes and the warmer temperatures produce snowmelt. And for us in Maine, mud comes to mind. No, it is not as catastrophic as the mudslides on the West Coast, but it certainly can be annoying. And then, of course, there are the storms that come with the spring. Heavy rains, thunderstorms, lightning and tornadoes. You can do some preparation for these potential disasters such as creating a ReadyKit for you and your family, which includes enough food for a few days, drinking water, flashlights and batteries, a hand-crank radio and other items which the FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) would be happy to list for you. Go to their website or your state EMA. But other than that, there’s not much you can do about the weather, except control your reaction to it.
So enjoy the things around you, such as the flowers pushing their way (for some of us) through the remaining snow and ice. The longer days. The warmth of the spring sun. And the realization that summer is just around the corner. And for those of us in Maine, summer is a wonderful season. We have the occasional lightning storm and tornado, but in general it is a wonderful time to kick back and enjoy being alive. So enjoy the spring and look forward to the summer and congratulate yourself, even if you enjoy winter sports such as skiing and snow-shoeing, for having made it through a long, cold and icy winter.
The Adoption Story Part 3: A daughter returns to meet her biological mother
It was 3 a.m. and we were on a flight from Boston to Peru. We had been delayed two days in leaving. The northeast had just had one of its largest snowstorms in decades. Our plane had been one of the last out before Logan closed. We were returning after 24 years. Below us the city of Lima looked calm and welcoming. It stretched our for miles to the south and the east. There were no blacked out areas or fires.
As the three of us deplaned, myself, my wife and our daughter, we didn’t know what to expect. What we found was a modern and efficient airport. To our surprise, we quickly found our luggage and passed through customs smoothly. We met our friends, who had been waiting for hours, since our flight had been delayed three hours in taking off. (Some things never change.) The parking lot outside the airport was a model of efficiency and security, not the chaotic and dangerous place it had been 24 years ago.
Our friends drove us to the Hilton, a hotel we had avoided 24 years ago because of the bombings and the attacks on Americans. They would meet us the next morning. They had arranged a meeting for our daughter with her biological mother and sisters in the early afternoon. They would pick up her mother and her relatives and meet us at a small club where they were members.
As it was 24 years ago, the hotel staff were just as welcoming as those at the small Peruvian hotel where we had stayed so many years before. The room, to say the least, was considerably more lavish. But we still weren’t sure about the water. We called the front desk and sheepishly asked. The clerk sounded surprised. “Of course, the water is drinkable,” she said in perfect English.
And so began our week in Lima, the primary purpose being for our daughter to see her biological mother for the first time and for us to visit with the family that had taken us into their home and their hearts so many years ago. I’ll talk more about our visit in the next blog.
As the three of us deplaned, myself, my wife and our daughter, we didn’t know what to expect. What we found was a modern and efficient airport. To our surprise, we quickly found our luggage and passed through customs smoothly. We met our friends, who had been waiting for hours, since our flight had been delayed three hours in taking off. (Some things never change.) The parking lot outside the airport was a model of efficiency and security, not the chaotic and dangerous place it had been 24 years ago.
Our friends drove us to the Hilton, a hotel we had avoided 24 years ago because of the bombings and the attacks on Americans. They would meet us the next morning. They had arranged a meeting for our daughter with her biological mother and sisters in the early afternoon. They would pick up her mother and her relatives and meet us at a small club where they were members.
As it was 24 years ago, the hotel staff were just as welcoming as those at the small Peruvian hotel where we had stayed so many years before. The room, to say the least, was considerably more lavish. But we still weren’t sure about the water. We called the front desk and sheepishly asked. The clerk sounded surprised. “Of course, the water is drinkable,” she said in perfect English.
And so began our week in Lima, the primary purpose being for our daughter to see her biological mother for the first time and for us to visit with the family that had taken us into their home and their hearts so many years ago. I’ll talk more about our visit in the next blog.
Boston Strong: Resilience in the face of adversity
Since the marathon bombings a year ago, people of Boston have demonstrated in an inspiring and courageous manner, the application of the skills and the attitudes of resilience. They have shown us how to come together and connect with others and stand together against those forces that would divide and separate us. They have shown us how to manage strong feelings and how to find purpose and meaning in tragedy.
Boston Strong has been about finding confidence in ourselves and our community, that we will not be frightened away and give up those things that are important to us. The recognition that we gave on April 15th to those who were there on April 15, 2013 -- the first responders, the victims and their families and the people of New England -- is proof that we will bounce back in the face of adversity. We will care for ourselves and others both physically and emotionally. We will not allow the acts of terrorists to achieve their goals. We are strong.
Ron Breazeale
Boston Strong has been about finding confidence in ourselves and our community, that we will not be frightened away and give up those things that are important to us. The recognition that we gave on April 15th to those who were there on April 15, 2013 -- the first responders, the victims and their families and the people of New England -- is proof that we will bounce back in the face of adversity. We will care for ourselves and others both physically and emotionally. We will not allow the acts of terrorists to achieve their goals. We are strong.
Ron Breazeale
The Adoption Story Part 2: Finding resilience under the threat of gunfire
When we arrived in Peru in early January of 1990 to adopt our daughter, Lima was a city under siege. We knew before leaving that we would be spending the next two months in Peru. But we really didn’t know how difficult it would be for two Americans who had never lived in a war zone. And in the process of surviving we would have to figure out how to take care of a 3-month-old child.
We met our daughter in the late afternoon. Because of concerns about security, we cut our visit with her foster parents short and headed back to the hotel. We were immediately aware that things were crazier than they had been when we had left the city earlier in the morning. Our interpreter told us that the Minister of Defense had been assassinated near our hotel. The young soldiers that we met every few miles at checkpoints appeared frightened. When we got back to the hotel, the National Police were waiting for me. They were interviewing every male who had entered the country in the last 24 hours. They were especially interested in me since I was an American and wore a prosthetic hook. The young officer who interrogated me kept asking me if I had lost my hand through explosives. Finally, after what seemed a very long time, he appeared satisfied that I was not a terrorist. That was the first of a number of interactions we would have with police, including Interpol. Peru, then and now, takes the adoption of their children out of country very seriously.
The main challenge, however, that evening was beginning to care for a 3-month-old on the third floor of a hotel with no electric power during the day and with water that was unsafe to be used in any way without boiling. (The water district employees were on strike and had been for months.)
The currency had been inflated in Peru to being almost worthless. Thankfully, we had brought a lot of what we would need.
And then there were the bombings and the gunfire at night. The third night we were there, a bomb went off in the plaza outside our hotel. The lights went out and we placed our daughter on the floor between us and covered her with our bodies. That night, the “Shining Path” blew up the barracks for the U.S. Embassy Marine Guards and took the power out for most of Mera Flores, the suburb of Lima where we were staying.
So what kept us going in those two months? One of the main things was a Peruvian family of about the same age who decided, for whatever reasons, to befriend us. And, of course, we had a very strong reason. Our purpose for being there. Our daughter.
As for our own skills and attitudes, we were and are both optimists and were confident that together we could handle what might come, which is helpful when you have two or three bouts of dysentery. And we kept our sense of humor.
My wife and I had disagreed about the level of risk we would be taking when we went to Peru. I had talked a few months before we left with a pilot who had flown in the jungles of Peru and had told me that a major Shining Path offensive in Lima was planned for January. My wife had discounted this and accepted what the agency had said, that all would be fine. The night of the bombing in the plaza as we lay on the floor with a firefight going on outside our window, I turned to my wife and said, “Told you so.” We both laughed. What else could we do?
To make a long story short, we survived, through our efforts and through the support that we received from our friends in Peru, from the staff at the hotel and the adoption agency. Our daughter has grown to be a fine young woman, and at 24 she decided she was ready to go back to Peru to meet her biological mother and older sisters. Our old friends were delighted to hear that we were coming. The new Peru had changed, but we were not prepared for how much it had changed. We will discuss these changes in the next blog.
Ron Breazeale
We met our daughter in the late afternoon. Because of concerns about security, we cut our visit with her foster parents short and headed back to the hotel. We were immediately aware that things were crazier than they had been when we had left the city earlier in the morning. Our interpreter told us that the Minister of Defense had been assassinated near our hotel. The young soldiers that we met every few miles at checkpoints appeared frightened. When we got back to the hotel, the National Police were waiting for me. They were interviewing every male who had entered the country in the last 24 hours. They were especially interested in me since I was an American and wore a prosthetic hook. The young officer who interrogated me kept asking me if I had lost my hand through explosives. Finally, after what seemed a very long time, he appeared satisfied that I was not a terrorist. That was the first of a number of interactions we would have with police, including Interpol. Peru, then and now, takes the adoption of their children out of country very seriously.
The main challenge, however, that evening was beginning to care for a 3-month-old on the third floor of a hotel with no electric power during the day and with water that was unsafe to be used in any way without boiling. (The water district employees were on strike and had been for months.)
The currency had been inflated in Peru to being almost worthless. Thankfully, we had brought a lot of what we would need.
And then there were the bombings and the gunfire at night. The third night we were there, a bomb went off in the plaza outside our hotel. The lights went out and we placed our daughter on the floor between us and covered her with our bodies. That night, the “Shining Path” blew up the barracks for the U.S. Embassy Marine Guards and took the power out for most of Mera Flores, the suburb of Lima where we were staying.
So what kept us going in those two months? One of the main things was a Peruvian family of about the same age who decided, for whatever reasons, to befriend us. And, of course, we had a very strong reason. Our purpose for being there. Our daughter.
As for our own skills and attitudes, we were and are both optimists and were confident that together we could handle what might come, which is helpful when you have two or three bouts of dysentery. And we kept our sense of humor.
My wife and I had disagreed about the level of risk we would be taking when we went to Peru. I had talked a few months before we left with a pilot who had flown in the jungles of Peru and had told me that a major Shining Path offensive in Lima was planned for January. My wife had discounted this and accepted what the agency had said, that all would be fine. The night of the bombing in the plaza as we lay on the floor with a firefight going on outside our window, I turned to my wife and said, “Told you so.” We both laughed. What else could we do?
To make a long story short, we survived, through our efforts and through the support that we received from our friends in Peru, from the staff at the hotel and the adoption agency. Our daughter has grown to be a fine young woman, and at 24 she decided she was ready to go back to Peru to meet her biological mother and older sisters. Our old friends were delighted to hear that we were coming. The new Peru had changed, but we were not prepared for how much it had changed. We will discuss these changes in the next blog.
Ron Breazeale
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Old Friends
Connectedness to other is a key factor of resilience.
I recently returned from a trip to Florida. I usually make the pilgrimage in late February or early March. It’s certainly a good time to leave Maine for a week or two. The main purpose, however, is to visit two high school friends who I have kept contact with through all these many years. One I met when I was only three or four and we attended the first day of school together. The other I met in junior high.
Over the years, our lives have taken different courses. One is still married to the woman he fell in love with in college. The other has been divorced a couple of times and is definitely single. We chose different professions. One has worked primarily in the area of real estate renovation and management. The other chose to be a teacher. We all three left a small southern town that we grew up in, although my two friends have chosen to stay in the South. Both are considerably more conservative than I am, which means we often don’t agree on politics.
Many would see us as having more differences than similarities now. But I think the three of us don’t see it that way. We have our differences and our arguments, but we do it respectfully and usually agree to disagree. Given the present state of our federal government and congress, the ability of the three of us to do this gives me some hope for the future.
We’re getting older. We’re all well into our sixties. We often joke about who will bury who, even though we don’t talk that often now and only see each other one or two times a year. I believe, that when one of us dies, we will lose an important connection in our lives, a connection in the present and to the past. My old friends make me realize how important these connections are. We have supported each other through hard times when we were adolescents and as adults.
We accept each other with all of our faults. We trust that the other will be there in whatever way they can. Close friendships are important throughout our lives. Maintaining them needs to be a priority. All three of us have certainly been more resilient in our lives than we would have been without the other two.
The Winter that Never Ends
Fighting the ongoing winter blues.
This seems to be one of those. It goes on and on and on. Mainers usually don’t complain about the weather, but this year is an exception. I was glad to hear their complaints because I thought it might just be me. But, no, everyone is complaining about the winter, and that’s okay. At one point I heard on the evening news that 49 of the 50 states had snow on the ground somewhere in each state. Florida was the exception.
So I thought it would be worth doing another post on a winter that seems endless. (If you recall, I did one in late fall.) So first of all, remember the winter is not endless: This too will pass. Spring will come. And even though the cold of winter encourages us to hibernate and isolate, don’t. Keep connected with your friends. Use the phone and use social media if you cannot venture out on the ice and snow.
Stay active. If you can’t walk or run because of the ice, find a gym or a mall and do some laps.
Keep a sense of humor. There are all sorts of jokes about this winter I can’t remember right now.
Help other people. Shovel your neighbor’s walk or help him or her dig out their car. Both of you will feel good about that.
And keep your flexibility. Bad weather demands it. We may not be on time for every appointment or you may have to cancel things that you’ve been planning for a long time.
Be patient. Remember, this is temporary, not permanent, and it doesn’t have to affect every aspect of your life. Accept that this is something you cannot control, but complaining about it is okay. Mother Nature is breaking records across the country this year. Record snowfalls, lowest temperatures, etc., etc. There’s no one to blame, so please don’t blame the weatherman.
The Adoption Story
Adopting in a foreign land.
It was early January of 1990. My wife and I were on a flight bound for Lima, Peru, to adopt our daughter. She was about three months old. We had only seen pictures from the adoption agency. It was three in the morning as the plane descended into Lima. We could see that half of the city was blacked out. As we got closer to the ground, we could see fires throughout the city. Lima, a city close to the size of New York, then and now has only a volunteer fire department. The volunteer crews were no match for the “Shining Path,” a Communist insurgency group that had opened an all-out offensive in Lima a few days before our arrival. We were flying into a war zone.
The airport was chaos. The friends of friends of friends in the States thankfully met us, and they managed to get us to our small Peruvian hotel. We had been told to stay away from American hotels or businesses, like the Hilton and the Marriott, since they were being targeted by the Shining Path.
After a few hours of sleep, our interpreter from the adoption agency picked us up and drove us to meet our daughter, who was being cared for by foster parents. I still remember when they placed her in our arms. It was a feeling, despite all the craziness going on around us, that everything would be okay. And as any new father would say, she was the cutest little thing I’d ever seen.
We had started this process only a few months before. We had been told that at least one of us would have stay in Peru through the entire adoption process which could take up to 4 months. My wife had decided that she would be the one.
I would stay for a few weeks, then go back to the States to work in my practice for a few weeks and then return. The process thankfully only took about 2 months. My wife and daughter finally arrived in the U.S. in March. Those two months in Peru were, to say the least, challenging. We learned a great deal about ourselves through those challenges.
We did not return to Peru for 24 years. Although we had offered a number of times, our daughter had not been ready. On our second trip back, we would visit old friends we had made the first time and managed to maintain contact with over the years. Our daughter would meet her biological mother and a number of other family members. The main goal of the second trip was to help her learn more about her heritage and continue the process most adopted children go through, of figuring out where she came from and who she is.
This is one of four blogs that will tell the story of our first and our second visit to Peru.
The Resilliency of individuals with intellectual disabilities
Understanding an individuals’ personal strengths and motivation is necessary.
Guest Blogger: Carly Rodgers, M.S.
An intellectual disability, the most common developmental disability, is a term used in reference to an individual who has certain limitations in mental functioning and skills such as taking care of him or herself, social skills, and communication. Previously referred to as mental retardation, individuals with an intellectual disability progress at a slower pace than others in regards to learning how to talk, walk, and take care of their personal needs such as eating and dressing themselves.
Genetic conditions, problems during pregnancy, problems at birth, and health problems are among the common causes of intellectual disabilities. While there is no “cure” for intellectual disabilities, these individuals can learn to do many things, it just may take more time and effort. In keeping with this, it is important to determine and acknowledge an individuals’ strengths and weaknesses, as well as what serves as their motivation. Understanding an individuals’ personal strengths, weaknesses, and their motivators helps to create a more complete picture of that individual, thus allowing for a better understanding of the level of care/support that may be needed.
Presently, most of the available resources and research focuses around the resilience of parents/family and/or caregivers of individuals with intellectual disabilities, with very little actually focusing on the individual. Resilience is an individual’s ability to adapt and bounce back in the face of adversity and may be viewed as an individuals’ defense against stress. As humans, we all grow and continue to learn throughout our lives. An individuals’ resilience can also change and evolve over time. The resiliency of individuals with intellectual disabilities may be tested more frequently, more intensely, and for longer durations of time when compared to individuals who are not living with an intellectual disability.
Resiliency is an important factor in the lives of individuals with an intellectual disability. Without the means to cope well with their limitations in mental functioning and skills and employ resilience, these individuals are likely to suffer psychologically, socially, physically, emotionally, etc.. Ways of enhancing an individual’s resilience pathway include: identifying and improving upon internal strengths such as problem-solving skills; positive relationships with parents/caregivers, peers, and/or other caring adults; building upon determination, motivation, and hope; and environmental factors such as effective schools, community, and other services provided. Resiliency skills can be learned and improved upon, thus there is always hope for those with an intellectual disability.
Carly Rodgers received her master's in Clinical Psychology in 2009 and is currently completing her pre-doctoral training in Portland, Maine. She endorses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) principles and teaches resiliency skills with Dr. Breazeale.
Alone in a Strange Land
Issues facing immigrants in America
For many immigrants that’s the way America feels. New arrivals to our country have often come without family, many of them forced out of their homeland. This is especially true of many of the immigrants from Central African countries, such as Burundi, Rwanda and the Congo. They are seeking asylum. And they bring with them the traumas that they experienced in their homeland.
They often must learn a new language, English. They may be taking classes and getting some tutoring, but it doesn’t come easy. English is a very difficult language to master.
They often do not have a work permit. They can apply for one, but it often takes months, if not longer, to obtain one. In many cases, the immigrant may be a professional. But unfortunately he or she may be unable to obtain the certification or licensure that would allow them to work in the U.S. These people are often forced to take jobs as nurses’ aides or fast-food workers.
And what of the families that they left behind? They often do not know when they will see them again. They often fear for the welfare of their families, since they and their family and friends may have been persecuted in their homeland.
Friendships in this country may be difficult to develop. Trust, for many immigrants, is a difficult issue. Because of the events of the past, they may be more cautious about making friends and trusting others again.
And trust in the authorities is difficult. The police, in particular. They may have been used by the government to persecute the immigrant and members of their ethnic community.
And what about fitting in to a new culture? Different ways of thinking and behaving?
Being in a new land that promises freedom and opportunity can be exciting, but it can also be quite frightening and confusing. Immigrants to this new world will need to be able to apply the skills and the attitudes of resilience. They need to learn the new language, and they need to be able to connect with others. In order to be able to do any of this, they must deal with the fear and the anger that can paralyze them and force them into isolation.
Over the next few months, I’ll be talking more about these issues and a way in which new members of our society can practice and reinforce the skills and the attitudes of resilience that they already possess and that they have already demonstrated through surviving adversity in their homeland and in America.
Imagine
A world without disappointment
John Lennon’s song, Imagine, still gets a lot of play on the radio. Many of us enjoy mouthing the words as Lennon sings them. But few of us can really imagine a world like the one he describes. Past hurts and disappointments block our access to this dream.
But what if justice and mercy were the focus of our New Year, not just something that we think about when we are in a church, synagogue or temple when we are making a charitable donation. Can our society ever get past our preoccupation with greed and violence to make these a focus? Can we?
Take a minute and imagine what your world would be like if these were the values that drove our society. That drove us. Imagine.
Many of us have a very difficult time seeing this vision. Many would say it’s not realistic. But why not? Why couldn’t it be? Our world certainly has the resources to feed and care for everyone and to give every member of our society a meaningful role. But to create such a world, we must first be able to imagine such a world. Indeed, we must be realistic. The steps to create such a world are not easy ones. But we need this vision to give us direction. If these are really values that we believe, we should act on them. They should animate our behavior in the New Year. Imagine what our world would be like if they did. Imagine!
Hope is a Choice
The new year is a time to plan, dream and act.
The old year ends and a new one begins. The first few months of a New Year can certainly be busy ones, as you put closure on the year that has just passed while taking steps into the New Year. But the dark and the cold of a New England winter do not encourage this. If anything, just the opposite. It is a time of year when many of us feel like hibernating until the spring, of staying in, of waiting. Winter will pass into spring. The snow will melt. The dark will give way to longer days. And for those of us in the land of ice and snow—and I think this includes a good part of the South this year—the long days of summer will eventually return. We know this. But in the long, cold nights of winter it is easy to forget.
As we enter the New Year, it is a time to be hopeful. Not just that the spring will come early, but hopeful about our world, the world that we will be creating in this New Year.
So stay active. Don’t let the cold and the dark slow you down. Plan, dream and act. You will need both realism and idealism in the New Year. Realism, as Henry Kissinger once said, to take the first steps toward your goals, and idealism to know what your goals are. In the New Year let your values animate your behavior. Hope is a choice.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
More on Work and Resilience
Developing the attitude of resilience in the workplace.
In the last two blogs, we discussed ways of making the work environment a more positive place to be. We pointed out the importance of resilience skills and being able to connect with others, communicate effectively, take a flexible approach toward problems, evaluate the value and purpose of your work and deal with the strong feelings that work may bring up. In this blog, I want to talk about more things that you can do to try to get involved in your organization in a positive way. Pro-action is usually a better way to go than simply reacting. When we are proactive, we usually feel we have more control than if we are reactive and we usually do. Feeling that we have some control over our lives and that we are not helpless in the face of change will usually mean that we are less likely to feel depressed and unhappy. We also need to take care of ourselves. This can mean in many organizations taking advantage of the resources that are offered through Wellness programs. Unfortunately, a relatively small number of employees do this, approximately a third. Check out what your organization has to offer. It may include gym memberships, seminars on weight management and exercise, or programs that help you manage your finances. Financial issues are a major stressor for most Americans. Take advantage of what is available. Taking care of others is, in general, a way of taking care of ourselves. The process tends to build our own resilience. Getting involved in volunteer efforts and campaigns is a great idea. This is another way of adding meaning and purpose to your life. Work is an important part of our lives, but it should not be our lives. Work-life balance means that we have a life outside of work. Employers should recognize this, and work-life balance should not just be a phrase that they put in a brochure or a manual describing the company. As the old saying goes, “In ten years no one is going to remember that you worked that Saturday.” But your son or your daughter may remember that day as the day that they scored the winning run that you missed or that they did their first dance recital. And most of all, don’t forget about humor. Hopefully, you have a sense of humor. Take time to step back from work. To laugh at yourself and at the absurd things that sometimes happen at work. As the old saying goes, “Don’t take work too seriously. It’s just a job.” So to sum it all up, your values and your organization’s values should complement each other. Take care of yourself, emotionally, physically and financially. Get involved in a proactive way with your organization. Manage the strong feelings that come up at work. Don’t ignore them or deny them. Take care of others and keep your sense of humor. Making your organization a psychologically healthy and positive place to work is the responsibility of both the organization and the employee...YOU. -Dr. Ron Breazeale
In the last two blogs, we discussed ways of making the work environment a more positive place to be. We pointed out the importance of resilience skills and being able to connect with others, communicate effectively, take a flexible approach toward problems, evaluate the value and purpose of your work and deal with the strong feelings that work may bring up. In this blog, I want to talk about more things that you can do to try to get involved in your organization in a positive way. Pro-action is usually a better way to go than simply reacting. When we are proactive, we usually feel we have more control than if we are reactive and we usually do. Feeling that we have some control over our lives and that we are not helpless in the face of change will usually mean that we are less likely to feel depressed and unhappy. We also need to take care of ourselves. This can mean in many organizations taking advantage of the resources that are offered through Wellness programs. Unfortunately, a relatively small number of employees do this, approximately a third. Check out what your organization has to offer. It may include gym memberships, seminars on weight management and exercise, or programs that help you manage your finances. Financial issues are a major stressor for most Americans. Take advantage of what is available. Taking care of others is, in general, a way of taking care of ourselves. The process tends to build our own resilience. Getting involved in volunteer efforts and campaigns is a great idea. This is another way of adding meaning and purpose to your life. Work is an important part of our lives, but it should not be our lives. Work-life balance means that we have a life outside of work. Employers should recognize this, and work-life balance should not just be a phrase that they put in a brochure or a manual describing the company. As the old saying goes, “In ten years no one is going to remember that you worked that Saturday.” But your son or your daughter may remember that day as the day that they scored the winning run that you missed or that they did their first dance recital. And most of all, don’t forget about humor. Hopefully, you have a sense of humor. Take time to step back from work. To laugh at yourself and at the absurd things that sometimes happen at work. As the old saying goes, “Don’t take work too seriously. It’s just a job.” So to sum it all up, your values and your organization’s values should complement each other. Take care of yourself, emotionally, physically and financially. Get involved in a proactive way with your organization. Manage the strong feelings that come up at work. Don’t ignore them or deny them. Take care of others and keep your sense of humor. Making your organization a psychologically healthy and positive place to work is the responsibility of both the organization and the employee...YOU. -Dr. Ron Breazeale
Work and Resilience
The purpose and value of work.
In the last post, I pointed out how connecting with others at work, being an effective communicator and being able to assert oneself at the right times at work could make the environment less stressful. I also discussed the importance of flexibility and being able to try in a different way to solve problems. In the work environment of the 21st Century, change is inevitable. But most changes are temporary, not permanent. And they seldom have a pervasive effect, positive or negative, on our lives. Blaming ourselves or others for the problems created by change does not help. I also discussed a recent survey conducted by the American Psychological Association Center for Organizational Excellence. The survey, among other things, pointed out that many employees felt stuck in their present positions. Only 39% said they had sufficient opportunities for internal career advancement and just over half reported feeling valued at work. Only 43% of the employees surveyed said that recognition at work was based on fair and useful performance evaluations. As I discussed in the last blog, the skills and attitudes of resilience can help change these statistics. Your work should have value and purpose. The purpose is hopefully more than just surviving and drawing a paycheck. The work should be meaningful to you. You should feel like what you are doing is important and makes a difference. Making the decision about whether or not your work is meaningful and purposeful involves taking a look at your own values and what is important to you. Your values and the values of the people that you work with and the organizations that you work for should match. If there’s not a match or a fit, the dissonance between the two will cause a level of tension and stress that will wear on us and our organization as time passes. Our mission and the mission of the organization should complement each other. If they do not, then we should be looking for a job that is a better fit. Situations at work inevitably bring up strong feelings. Work should. We should feel some passion for the work that we do, and we should feel frustrated when we cannot express it. The latter is often a problem. We should try not to let frustration and anger build up inside. Anger can be a toxic emotion. We need to find ways to manage our anger that help to change things at work in a positive way. But first of all, we have to recognize the feelings that we have and we need to find ways to be able to discharge them so we can think more clearly about work and how to negotiate the problems that are there. In the next blog, I will talk more about things you can do on your job to make your work environment a more positive one for you and for your co-workers. -Dr. Ron Breazeale
In the last post, I pointed out how connecting with others at work, being an effective communicator and being able to assert oneself at the right times at work could make the environment less stressful. I also discussed the importance of flexibility and being able to try in a different way to solve problems. In the work environment of the 21st Century, change is inevitable. But most changes are temporary, not permanent. And they seldom have a pervasive effect, positive or negative, on our lives. Blaming ourselves or others for the problems created by change does not help. I also discussed a recent survey conducted by the American Psychological Association Center for Organizational Excellence. The survey, among other things, pointed out that many employees felt stuck in their present positions. Only 39% said they had sufficient opportunities for internal career advancement and just over half reported feeling valued at work. Only 43% of the employees surveyed said that recognition at work was based on fair and useful performance evaluations. As I discussed in the last blog, the skills and attitudes of resilience can help change these statistics. Your work should have value and purpose. The purpose is hopefully more than just surviving and drawing a paycheck. The work should be meaningful to you. You should feel like what you are doing is important and makes a difference. Making the decision about whether or not your work is meaningful and purposeful involves taking a look at your own values and what is important to you. Your values and the values of the people that you work with and the organizations that you work for should match. If there’s not a match or a fit, the dissonance between the two will cause a level of tension and stress that will wear on us and our organization as time passes. Our mission and the mission of the organization should complement each other. If they do not, then we should be looking for a job that is a better fit. Situations at work inevitably bring up strong feelings. Work should. We should feel some passion for the work that we do, and we should feel frustrated when we cannot express it. The latter is often a problem. We should try not to let frustration and anger build up inside. Anger can be a toxic emotion. We need to find ways to manage our anger that help to change things at work in a positive way. But first of all, we have to recognize the feelings that we have and we need to find ways to be able to discharge them so we can think more clearly about work and how to negotiate the problems that are there. In the next blog, I will talk more about things you can do on your job to make your work environment a more positive one for you and for your co-workers. -Dr. Ron Breazeale
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