Relationships With Those Closest To Us - Part 2

All relationships, if they are to be sustained and if we are to keep the connection, require resilience. In the previous blog we talked about the importance of communicating effectively, being willing to be flexible and to compromise, being an effective problem solver and not allowing our feelings to cloud our thinking. Some of the other skills and attitudes of resilience that are critical to maintaining a positive connection with those closest to us is our ability to take care of ourselves as well as to support or help our partner. This requires balance. Relationships are an exchange. They need to work for both partners. In general, relationships that are out of balance do not work that well for either partner. One of the things that helps relationships to stay in balance is a shared sense of purpose and direction. This usually means that the partners share similar values. There needs to be a match on such things as children, material possessions, etc. It also helps if two people share a similar outlook on life. It doesn’t have to be identical. Both partners don’t have to be optimists. Indeed, opposites do attract. But how you manage these differences will be critical to whether the relationship survives and flourishes or whether it ends in divorce court. And last of all, relationships with those closest to us are certainly easier if we have a sense of humor and if we can laugh at ourselves. Relationships with those closest to us can be a major source of fulfillment and satisfaction in our lives or they can become exceedingly stressful and aversive. Whether the relationship is resilient and survives the challenges that we will face or whether it will end will be determined in large part by our ability to apply the skills and the attitudes of resilience. by Ron Breazeale