Resilience

Those of you who have been following this blog over the last few years understand the concept of resilience and may be able to list off a number of the skills and attitudes. My question to you would be: Have you been practicing and applying these skills? It’s easy to say, “Oh, yes. I understand that flexibility is important” and “I’m sure I’m a good communicator.” Or, “Sure, I understand that dealing with my feelings is important, and I try to.” But how do you know? But how do you manage your feelings? I would encourage you to spend some time looking at yourself and learning from your past. Awareness of what you have learned from past experiences in your life and from the role models in your life is critical to being able to practice and apply the skills and attitudes of resilience. You may want to take some time to review and answer the questions that follow. This is one of the exercises that we use in the workshops that we conduct on resilience. In exploring your past, ask yourself the following questions and write down the answers. Seeing things in black and white is different from simply thinking about them or even talking about them. No one will need to see what you have written down, unless you wish to share it with them. Having a friend or a family member read and discuss with you what you have written may be helpful. You decide. 1. What events have I experienced in my life that have been extremely stressful for me? A natural disaster, like a tornado or a hurricane; a personal disaster, such as the death of a spouse or a child; a house fire, divorce, bankruptcy, job loss, illness, disability? 2. How have I managed these events in my life? How did I deal with my feelings? Did I avoid talking about what was happening? Did I allow myself to discharge the feelings about the event? Did I think about significant others in my life and how they had or would deal with a similar crisis? 3. Did I ask others for help or did I go it alone? How did going it alone work out? If you asked for help, who helped you through these hard times? Take some time and review your answers. What have you learned about yourself by doing this that would help you to be more resilient and better able to manage adversity in your life? In the next blog post, I will give you some more questions to work on and think about. by Ron Breazeale