Managing Stress and Resilience

The American Psychological Association has developed a number of tips for
Managing Stress for a Healthy Family. This tip sheet was developed in response to the results of the Stress in America Survey that the APA recently conducted.
Results from the survey found that 73% of parents report family responsibilities as a significant source of stress. The connection between high stress levels and health is alarming, with 34% of obese parents experiencing high levels of stress as compared to 23% of normal weight parents. The Association believes that it is important to consider the way a parent’s stress and corresponding unhealthy behaviors affect the family. Children clearly model their parents’ behavior, including those related to managing stress. So here are a few things to keep in mind:
1. As a parent, evaluate your lifestyle. Your children are more likely to lead a healthy lifestyle if you model this for them through your behavior.
2. Talk to your children if they appear to be worried or stressed. Try to have regular conversations with them. Talking with children and promoting open communication can be just as important as diet and exercise and sleep.
3. Try to create a healthy environment at home. Try to create in your home a clear, clean and uncluttered space so both you and your children can relax.
4. Focus on yourself and take care of yourself. If you are overwhelmed, try not to overeat or choose fast food and chocolate as the best alternative for managing your stress.
5. Be patient and take your time. Change both for adults and children is difficult. Try to change one habit at a time. Be realistic and try not to create changes you will not be able to maintain or you do not have the time or the energy or the motivation to continue.

For more information and a copy of the tip sheet, go to www.apahelpcenter.org.



Ron Breazeale, Ph.D.
Author, Duct Tape Isn’t Enough
www.reachinghome.com

2010 - Stress in America Survey: Key Findings

On November 9th, the American Psychological Association released the findings from their Stress in America Survey. The results are in many ways similar to the results of a year ago. Americans are clearly continuing to feel the effects of prolonged financial and other recession-related problems. Americans recognize that their stress levels remain high and exceed what they consider to be healthy. Adults, in particular, understand the importance of healthy behaviors but simply feel that they do not have the time to practice these behaviors and they often lack the motivation and energy to do so.
There are a couple of interesting differences in the results this year. Fewer adults report being satisfied with the way that their employer helps employees balance work and non-work demands and in general there is a great deal of concern about job stability.
Another interesting result is that stress seems to be taking a physical health toll on children. This has to do specifically with weight. Children and adults alike who are obese or overweight are more likely to feel stress, and overweight children are more likely to report that their parents were often or always stressed over the past month. Children who are overweight are more likely to report they worry a lot or a great deal about things in their lives than children who are normal weight. Overweight kids also are more significantly likely than normal weight children to report that they worry about the way they look and their weight. While the majority of parents don’t think their children are strongly affected by their stress, children clearly report otherwise.
For more information about the results of the APA survey, go to www.apahelpcenter.org.




Ron Breazeale, Ph.D.
Author, Duct Tape Isn’t Enough
www.reachinghome.com

Photo by Andrew Quilty

Blame

If you have been watching TV lately, you have seen a number of ads that blame the other party or a specific politician for some of the problems or maybe for all the problems that we are experiencing in this society. Once again, the politics of fear seem to be leading the charge for both of the major political parties. Blame and accountability are different things. We should hold our political leaders accountable for their actions. But we can certainly do this without adding the huge amount of emotional baggage that blame adds to the formula. Emotions such as hate, anger and fear only distort our thinking and do not allow us to think rationally and to make good decisions. Hopefully, as we go to the polls in November, we will put aside the blame game and think clearly about what is best for ourselves, our families and our society. Holding people accountable will help us do this. Blaming will not.


Ron Breazeale, Ph.D.
Psychologist and Author of Reaching Home
www.reachinghome.com

Thinking Clearly

Emotions often act as a filter on our thinking. Anyone who has been in love knows that we often do not think very clearly about the person that we are in love with. We may minimize or deny the differences that we have with them. And when it comes to such emotions as anger and fear, we may demonize the individual, or the group or the political party that is scaring us or making us angry. Unfortunately, when we make decisions, such as marriage or how we vote when we are wearing these emotional filters, we often make poor decisions. With the election only a week away, hopefully we will be able to think clearly about what is best for us, our families and our nation rather than to act out of emotion.



Ron Breazeale, Ph.D.
Psychologist and Author of Reaching Home
www.reachinghome.com

Upcoming Events

Under Upcoming Events, this fall we will be devoting much of our attention to the development and expansion of the Maine Resilience Program. Specifically, we will be developing a chapter on resilience for the University of Massachusetts-Boston’s Center for Sustaining Communities after Disaster. We will also be looking for opportunities to develop the program in other communities in Massachusetts and the Northeast. Unfortunately, this means that we will be offering few trainings this fall or early winter. Since the materials lend themselves well to self-study, we will be offering a 40% discount on the materials, a discount that we have offered in the past only to workshop participations.


FALL SALE
40% Off All Training Materials


Be a Survivor, not a Victim.

When tragedy strikes your life, be a survivor, not a victim.

Don’t be a victim, build your resilience.


Reaching Home Reading and Discussion Group
Maine Department of Corrections
Probation and Parole
Fall 2010


Ron Breazeale, Ph.D.
Author, Duct Tape Isn’t Enough
www.reachinghome.com

Telling Family Stories: Get Low

Maine Resilience has made effective use of storytelling as a tool in teaching the skills and the attitudes that build and maintain resilience. These are often family stories. Reaching Home contains a number of mine. One of my family stories that I have heard throughout my life but did not include in Reaching Home was the story of Felix “Bush” Breazeale. The story has recently been made into a film that stars Robert Duvall, Bill Murray and Sissy Spacek. The story is set in the late 1930s in east Tennessee. The main character, “Bush,” as a young man was arrested for a murder that he says he did not commit. He was released by the Court but was ostracized by the community. He lived with his parents until their deaths and continued to live by himself into his mid-seventies when he decided that it would soon be time to “get low.” He decided he would plan his own funeral, but he wanted to have it before his death so that he could hear what people would say about him and indeed had been saying about him for the last 40 years. With the help of a funeral director who saw an opportunity to make some money, he organized a “Funeral Party.”
The film lacks some accuracy. The funeral took place in the early summer, not the winter and, according to my parents who attended, was indeed more of a party than a solemn wake which is how it is portrayed in the movie. The funeral was attended by thousands of people from the surrounding counties and states and apparently resulted in my distant relative, “Bush,” being accepted again by his community. In fact, he became a bit of a celebrity being asked to throw out the first baseball at one of the local games. “Bush” died 4 years later and was buried in the wooden coffin that he had made for his first funeral. One might say that his “Funeral Party” was an example of resilience, but certainly an odd one.

Warning

Reading this book may make you angry. We chose the novel, Reaching Home, and the other 17 stories that are a part of the Maine Resilience Program because they stir peoples’ emotions. Anger, joy, fear, compassion, sadness. Recognizing and managing these strong feelings is one of the key skills in resilience. Reaching Home is the longest tale and involves a number of characters who tell their individual stories. Some of the characters you may like and identify with, and some you may feel represent attitudes and ways of looking at the world that are a direct contradiction to yourselves and your point of view. For example, Lee and his grandson* who tell the Reaching Home story have a political point of view which some may agree with and with which some may strongly disagree. Resilience involves being able to recognize and manage the strong feelings that you have so that you can think clearly and communicate your point of view in a direct, assertive and respectful manner, especially to those with whom you may strongly disagree.


*The book’s author, who interned with the Veterans Administration during the Vietnam war, and all those involved with the Maine Resilience Project love and support our great country and the men and women who have fought and given their lives for our freedom.