The Election
The election is over and most of us would
agree that that’s a good thing. Most of
us would also agree that the next few months or years may be difficult
ones. The good news is that we have an
opportunity to address the things, the issues, that have separated us and
divided us. To do this, we will need the
skills and the attitudes of resilience.
So here is my checklist of things to do.
1. Connect
with others, especially with people that you have disagreed with. Failing to do this is what has gotten us to
the place where we are presently are.
2. Communicate
with others. Don’t just talk, but
listen. Especially, again, to people
that you don’t agree with. Too often we
spend time composing our argument back rather than listening to what the person
is saying.
3. Be
flexible, both in your thoughts and your actions. This is a time for trying in a different way. We need to be creative. Rigid people usually aren’t. Use your head. Negotiate and, yes, compromise. In a democracy you can’t always have it your
way. That’s why they call it a
democracy.
4. Deal
with your feelings about what has happened.
If your candidate lost, honor your grief. Keeping it inside is not a good idea. Anger and grief are toxic emotions that will
hurt you in the end. Vent and let go of them.Cry.Scream
if you need to but not at other people. Discharge them so you can think more
clearly. If you are feeling elated by
the results of the election, realize that many people aren’t.Respect others.
5. Be
optimistic. Things will change
again. The next few months are a short
chapter in a long book. Look
around. Look at the big picture. Not everything has changed. One event seldom has a pervasive effect on
the whole picture. And last of all,
don’t blame. Unfortunately, this will be
a time when people look for a scapegoat.
Don’t blame yourself. Don’t blame other
people. You can hold them accountable
for their actions and you need to hold
yourself accountable for your own. But
this is different from blame. It doesn’t
have a heavy dose of negative emotion that blame has.
Now, applying these skills and
attitudes to the present situation will not be easy. But it’s your country and it’s your
life. What you do or don’t do will
affect the lives of your family, your children, and the other inhabitants of
this earth.
In the next blog, we’ll talk more
about how the skills and the attitudes of resilience can be applied to dealing
with the aftermath of the election.
Ronald
L. Breazeale, Ph.D.
Author,
Duct Tape Isn’t Enough and First Night
